Coming from all sides

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of hearings, conferences, postponements and frustrations. Dave's wife apparently wasn't content with just having him thrown in jail on false child abuse charges that could destroy his life forever. She filed for a PFA (Protection From Abuse) order. She filed for child support and spousal support.

Nearly everyday something new was in the mail. Children, Youth and Family Services wanted to "interview" Dave regarding the allegations. After discussing it with his public defender Dave called the caseworker and said he could not discuss an ongoing court case. Shortly afterwards he received a notification that the report was justified and Dave's name was now on the state registry as a sex offender. I wrote the letter for him myself requesting a review. I quoted a state statute indicating this was not proper procedure when there was a pending court case and asked the status be changed to "pending" until the case was completed in court. The request was denied.

Dave was advised both by the constable and his PD he could ask for some of his belongings at the permanent PFA hearing. He didn't ask for much. He requested his tools, his Playstation game console and "his" vehicle. She refused. She claimed the only tools in the house belonged to her and she had found them at work. That would be a neat trick since the only things she found at work were items small enough to be accidentally left in a pocket. Dave opted to continue the PFA hearing.

Dave worked on cars, installed car stereos and did maintenance around the house. He had a large tool bag and a tool box both overflowing with tools. He had socket sets, power drills and other large items. Some of the tools in his tool box were items that belonged to me! He did all the maintenance on my vehicle so any specialty tools we needed I purchased and he kept them with his tools.

Both vehicles were in her name, unfortunately. It had been that way the entire time they lived together. When he was 18 he bought his first vehicle with his own money and it went in her name. The claim was the insurance would be cheaper... Dave let his wife handle all the business, even before they were married, period. He asked the PD about it and was told there was nothing that could be done. Marital property would have to be addressed in divorce court!

Next up was child support. Dave had been a stay-at-home Dad from the beginning. He took care of her 2 year old while she worked from the day he moved in with her. He hadn't held a job outside the home since he was 17. With no employment history, no high school diploma and no documented skills job hunting wasn't easy. Since his wife apparently needed two vehicles job hunting was made even more difficult. My vehicle was the only transportation to get three adults wherever they needed to go.

Domestic Relations sent him to an "Employment Specialist". He was ordered to attend nine hours per week at a local CareerLink until he found a job. He attended workshops and resume writing classes faithfully. He submitted dozens of applications. Everything had to be documented and signed to prove he was obeying the court order.

Next up...

Homeless