Spousal support? Are you kidding me?

Dave had to take another day off work to attend a conference hearing to modify the child support order and address spousal support. Back to the heart of the city! Dave's wife immediately went after money as soon as Dave was released on bond. So the Family Court that must be dealt with is in the county I lived in when he came to stay with me in December. A different county than the one we live in now or the one his children live in. More unnecessary complications...

I always found it interesting that she went after spousal support. Based on what justification? Even from the very beginning when the only child in the home was hers from a prior relationship she had always been the wage earner while Dave stayed home with the kid(s)& did the cooking & cleaning. This was by far the best scenario since she had zero maternal instincts, couldn't cook and didn't clean. Dave was 17 & she was 21 when they met. She moved him into her apartment. How convenient to have a live-in babysitter & housekeeper!

Requesting spousal support was even more ridiculous in light of the fact she had steadfastly refused to allow Dave to have either of their two vehicles. So he was expected get a job with no employment history & no education, without a vehicle & pay her to sit at home alone? The children were in school all day.

I accompanied Dave to the city primarily because I'm much more familiar with the city & where things are located than he is. We both knew I wouldn't be permitted to be with him at the hearing. When we went to the previous hearing in the same building in February I wasn't allowed to even be on the same floor! So I dropped him off in front of the building and went a few blocks away to park & wait.

He called me to let me know he was done. I pulled up in front of the building where he was already waiting. As he started to approach the vehicle a strange man stepped in front of him. Dave tried to step around him and this man again blocked his path. My son finally got to my vehicle with the man still stalking him and I could hear some of what he was saying to Dave "The wrath of God will rain upon you!" or something along that line. I asked Dave "what was that about?" He said "I don't know. Another nut job on a city street, I guess. What was weird is he was standing right beside me while I was waiting for you but never said a word until I started towards you".

As we headed away from the downtown area we talked about the incident some more. It finally dawned on Dave what had happened. This strange man was the wife's new boyfriend! Apparently, he had to work up the nerve to say something to Dave and when he saw Dave about to leave he was pushed into action. Wow! What a never ending series of craziness.

We did some detective work on the Internet & pulled up her acknowledgment of their relationship & a picture of him. Yep, same guy. Looking at him it was quite obvious why Dave's initial impression was just another nut job on a city street...

Next up - results of the hearing

Money, money, money

Dave was in jail from Friday morning until Monday evening. On top of the extra stress, this cost us extra money to run back & forth from the city. Dave also lost three days of work at a time when we desperately need all the money we can get our hands on! The end result of Friday's debacle in Plea Court was a date was set to begin jury selection for Dave's trial. A date to modify the court order for child support case was also set prior to his release from jail.

We are quickly running out of time. The judge holding Plea Court pointedly told Dave "these are serious charges, young man, you need to get yourself an attorney." Well, Dave & I both know that. The question is how can we possibly manage this? Dave & I discussed the situation. "What do you want to do?" I asked him. His response was "what can we do, Mom? I know I need a lawyer. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up going to jail for a long time without one, but we don't have the money! Even if we can borrow money or make payments you are going to be the one stuck with the responsibility of a huge debt if I do end up going to jail. I can't ask you do to that."

That settled it for me. My son might be going to prison for the rest of my life for something he didn't do and he was worried about saddling me with debt! How could I live with myself if I didn't do everything I could possibly do to help my son? I called an attorney that my ex-fiance & I had used last year when my fiance had been falsely accused of a crime. (What is it about people close to me being falsely accused??) I liked the attorney and I trusted him and the charges had ultimately been dropped against my ex.

Good thing I was sitting down when I spoke to the attorney... He said he would take the case for $6,000 to $8,000 plus costs. That amount of money is half a years wages for Dave & I! It took some convincing for him to give me a figure for a down payment. He finally agreed to $3,000 up front and a payment arrangement. Now, all I had to do was figure out where in the world we were going to get $3,000! When I shared the results of our conversation with Dave he said "We have to come up with $3,000 up front? Well, guess I'm going to jail!" I said "don't give up yet, honey. Give me some time to work on this."

Dave's sister is in the best financial position in our immediate family. She has the best job & makes more money than Dave & I put together. I will take some of the credit for the state of her finances because I managed her money & advised her every step of the way to get her where she is. I just helped her make the climb, really. She deserves most of the credit for maintaining her spot on the uphill side. She is an incredibly hard worker and very diligent about paying her bills. However, like a lot of people, the more money there is to work with, the bigger the debt there is.

She indicated a willingness to help but didn't have a few thousand lying around not in use. We talked & we checked & we ran figures. With my help she managed to free up the money for the down payment with the agreement Dave & I would pay it back. I made a consultation appointment with the attorney and Dave, his sister, her boyfriend and I went to see him to discuss the case. She wanted her boyfriend's approval of the attorney before a payment was made. Her boyfriend is going to school to get a law degree and she trusted his judgement.

After an hour long consultation we all agreed to go ahead with hiring the attorney. Sis made the down payment. Dave & I agreed to make $500 payments monthly with an addendum I would continue making the payments myself if Dave went to jail before the debt was paid. The attorney stated the available facts indicated the case was winnable. We all left the office feeling a little better. Just procuring decent legal representation made us feel like we could see a little light at the end of tunnel.

Now... how in the world are we going to pull off paying out all this money? Agreeing is one thing. Accomplishing is another! Hence, the birth of a blog. Surely, there are people out there who care enough about justice to help us. How many people around the world know someone who was falsely imprisoned?

Even if this doesn't generate any financial help, (which all indications are so far it's not doing much) at least I can get this story out to the world. This story is about the incredible manipulations used by unscrupulous people; the ineptness of the court-appointed attorney and the ridiculous legal system that is all about money, and not about justice. This story is about false accusations, guilty until proven innocent and the high cost of justice.

A ridiculous system

Some of my legal eagle friends get upset when I bash the public defender. Yes, I know they are overworked and underpaid. This man couldn't even carry on a conversation. Ask him a question and all you heard was ahhhh...ummmm....uhhhhh.... for three or four minutes! I don't believe either Dave or I ever got an answer to a direct question. Five minutes after discussing something the PD would ask the same questions all over again.

This is the person we have to rely on to get justice for Dave? This was looking uglier and uglier. A status hearing was next on the agenda. Since anything resembling information was not available through Dave's "representation" I researched what this meant. According to what I read this was where any evidence that had been discovered during the DA's investigation would be disclosed. Well, there was no evidence! None whatsoever.

Still, Dave was offered a "deal". Plead guilty and you'll only get 10 years!! Dave steadfastly refused to accept any deal, no matter what was offered. He said "I am not pleading guilty to something I didn't do! Whatever happens, whether I go to jail or not, I will not plead guilty". Dave never even had a chance to speak to the DA directly. Everything was handled through Mr. Can'tPutASentenceTogether. After a ridiculous amount of time Mr. CPAST came out and told Dave the DA said he "needed to talk to those people some more". Well, it was almost a sentence...

We waited to hear something about this for weeks. Dave asked Mr. CPAST what the plan was for his defense. CPAST stated it would be Dave's word against the girl's and nothing else could be done. Shortly afterwards a notice came from the PD's office stating it had come to their attention Dave was employed now and he would no longer be eligible for services. Well, no great loss there. It was quite possible Dave would have a better chance at justice representing himself than he would with CPAST!

Then the notice came in the mail of an upcoming hearing. Steeling ourselves for the worst Dave and I went into the courtroom. He was called up and handed a stack of papers. He sat down beside me and we both began reading over these papers. It soon became obvious we were in Plea Court!!! After Dave making it quite clear he would not accept any type of plea bargain, he was sent to enter a guilty plea in Plea Court! More wasted time and extra stress for no reason. When he was called up in front of the judge he said, "your Honor, I have no idea why I'm here. I asked for a trial." The judge advised him to get an attorney and scheduled a court date. We should be able to go home and play the waiting game some more. But wait, it's not over yet!

A guard came, handcuffed Dave and told him he had a bench warrant for his arrest from Family Court in another county! I'll explain that insanity in my next post.

No Contact

Dave's sister and I scramble for ways to help. We make phone calls and seek information from websites. The information we are getting is disheartening. His bond is $100,000 cash. We won't even have the option to put up real estate as collateral for a bond.


We can't see him. He has to fill out a visitors list with names, addresses and birth dates. Even after it is filled out it can take up to 10 days to be approved. Nice rule for those who are innocent until proven guilty. How many men do you know who memorize birthdays let alone can tell you birth dates? How many men do you know who could recite the full address of their family members? I imagine there are a few but in my experience they are certainly a minority.


All we can do is wait and pray for contact. At this point, we don't yet know that he wasn't permitted to take his wallet with his phone numbers. His sister, ever the Queen of Just in Case, politely asks the guard at the jail to take down our phone numbers and he complies. God bless him.


The call comes in the middle of my night. Working steady night shift has its perks and its drawbacks. I struggle to shake the cobwebs from my brain and understand what the officer is saying. Dave is excluded from his residence. He can't go home. However, if he agrees to waive his rights to a preliminary hearing and he has somewhere to go he will be released on his own recognizance. Even through the cobwebs this sounds... wrong.


I ask the officer to repeat what he has said and I can hear the impatience growing in his voice. "His bond is going to be reduced from $100,000 cash to his own recognizance?" I asked incredulously. "Does he have somewhere to go?" the officer asks again, sharply. I look around my tiny one bedroom apartment. My fiance is at work. Once again I am pressed by the officer,"Can he stay with you, or not?"


Trying to think quickly, it occurs to me his sister's house is quite large. Surely, we can figure something out. The police officer is demanding an immediate answer. What choice do I have? My son is in jail nearly an hour away, alone and scared. We will figure out the ramifications later. "Yes, he has a place to stay!" I answer the officer. He tells me Dave will be released later that day. He tells me to wait for a phone call and he hangs up.


My mind is spinning as I hang up the phone. I don't know who to call first, my fiance or my daughter. I opt for my daughter since she is the one who will have to pick Dave up. My fiance has our only vehicle and he won't be off work until 11pm. He should be understanding, at the least.


Just weeks before we had to fight false assault charges filed against him. It was a case of mistaken identity and there was no doubt he was innocent. Nevertheless we had to fight it in court and the costs of that were steep. He had spent several days in jail. We had spent hundreds on a lawyer. Between the jail time and the court appearances he had missed several days of work. It had just been a few days since that case was dismissed. Here we go again!


I look around the two room apartment one more time and and whisper "I hope".